What You Need Is: A museum music playlist

"Music oft hath such a charm,

To make bad good, and good provoke to harm" Measure for Measure

Are you a curator looking for music to lighten your mood? Are you a museum outreach officer thinking of getting a Spotify playlist together? Do you like classic pop, alternative rock or feel the need to hip your hop? Museums are inspiring modern music makers to add a 'museum' track to their canon in which case I have the perfect museum music list just for you.

Enjoy.

Mark Lanegan – Museum
Robert Hood – Museum
Noel Harrison – Museum 
Ralfe Band – Museum
The Future Sound Of London – Museum
Combination Head – Museum
Gretchen Peters – Museum
Fiction – Museum
Donovan – Museum 
Herman's Hermits – Museum
Bill Sykes – Museum
Lee Aaron – Museum
Search/rescue – Museum
Philip Jeck – Museum
The Prime Movers – Museum
Adrienne Pierce – Museum

http://spoti.fi/1EbMQkA 

Society Needs Museums More Than Ever

'Society needs us [museums] more than ever' was the opening rallying cry by David Anderson, President of the UK Museums Association, at the annual conference in Cardiff. It might be argued that it is rather the case that museums need society more than ever, but that would slightly disloyal to the call to arms of the MA's 'museums change lives' agenda. However what there was a complete lack of was debate over the deeper question at issue here. What is society?

A certain female UK Prime Minister famously asserted that there was no such thing as society. She, probably unwittingly, agreed with Oscar Wilde who is quoted as saying,

'Society only exists as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals'.

Although Margaret Thatcher wasn't known for her wit what a different world it could have been if Thatcher had been a late 19th century playwright and Wilde a late 20th century Prime Minister. I would shudder at her version of Lady Windermere's Fan,

"You are all worthy of the gutter and some of us are looking at the cost of all those stars", 

but rather enjoy Wilde's performances at Prime Minister's Question Time,

"May I say to the Honourable Gentleman for Croydon North that where there is vulgarity, may I bring wit. Where there is certainty, may I bring incomprehensibility. Where there is merely talent, may I bring genius. And where there is temptation, may I bring a complete lack of resistance." 

I profess I don't agree with Wilde and Thatcher (don't they sound like a micro brewery?) as I believe us to be social animals, I am not an individual, society is to blame for what I do (still not a good defence in front of the local Magistrate). I find myself agreeing with the anonymous man at the end of this scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian,

Brian: "You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!"

The Crowd: "Yes! We're all individuals!"

Brian: "You're all different!"

The Crowd: "Yes, we ARE all different!"

Man in crowd: "I'm not..."

I'm in the Mahatma Gandhi camp, not only is man a social being, but that interdependence ought to be an ideal of humanity. Yes, I hear you shouting, but what does this all mean for museums? It may surprise you that Gandhi is not famous for his musings about museums, but his point about interdependence does have some meaning for museums as well as society in general. 

If you take the point of view that there is such a thing as society and that museums should reflect society, be part of society, and be the repository of society's material culture - you could make the argument that conceptually museums are synonymous with society. Logic then dictates that every quote about society is a form of meta language about museums themselves - so all we need to do is swap the word 'society' for the word 'museum' and a profound understanding is then achieved. 

Suddenly, Margaret Thatcher's quote becomes very chilling, 

"There is no such thing as a museum." 

This revised quote instantly reveals and articulates the barrenness of right wing political thinking about culture in one simple sentence. What about something more positive? Try Henrik Ibsen, 

"The spirit of truth and the spirit of freedom - these are the pillars of museums." Inspiring.  

What about something closer to reality? How about the Spanish philosopher George Santayana,

 "Museums are like the air, necessary to breathe but insufficient to live on." Hmmm. 

I believe museums are as necessary to the existence of a meaningful society as air, but clearly humanity and curators in particular cannot live on air alone. What will make both society and museums sustainable? That is THE question of the 21st century for society as a whole, and for future Museums Association conference debates. I'll leave the last word to the Princeton Academic, Robert Gutman, 

“Every profession bears the responsibility to understand the circumstances that enable its existence.”

Let THAT be the theme for MA discussion in Birmingham 2015, by which time the UK will have has a General Election. Elections may bring uncertainty, but in the meantime let us rejoice in being able to follow our vocation in a free and democratic society and make sure we exercise our right to vote. How important are elections? Very - according to one 16 year old answering that question in a test in Springdale, Arkansas - 'because sex can only happen when a male gets an election'. 

BRING ON MAY 2015!

Behold the Power of Museums

Museums are great. But are they great brands? Great brands often have taglines that enhance their product. For example Nike's Swoosh is complimented by the tagline, 'Just Do It' . The tagline gives the promise of impulse, energy and action. It fits the idea of a sportswear company perfectly (in the same way 'Just Do It' would be entirely inappropriate for the Samaritans to use). A good tagline seeps into our consciousness, charms its way into our souls and lightens our wallets and purses. American Express begged us, 'don't leave home without it'; we know Domestos emphatically 'Kills all known germs...dead' and so on. The world is full of taglines. I'm particularly fond of the American Dairy Association's 'behold the power of cheese' which would be brilliant for the Amsterdam Cheese Museum. This got me thinking that a little judicious plagiarism of taglines from the commercial world might promote the image of museums more effectively when, 'fun for all the family' just doesn't cut it any more.

There are a number of marketing slogans that can apply to almost any museum without change. 'It's the real thing' works and reflects the authenticity of our collections. Perhaps we could go for something slightly more ethereal, 'there's something special in the air'. For the less brave, simply substitute 'museum' for 'air' the tagline becomes more straightforward and can express confidence in our exhibitions.  The slightly pleading, 'we try harder' could work. I know some museum managers who wouldn't be self conscious about using, 'if you've got it flaunt it'. Personally I'm a fan of Chrysler's 'inspiration comes as standard', although it would take a certain chutzpah for a museum to run with ClubMed's 'the antidote for civilisation'. For a multiple museum service, why not try the simple enthusiasm of 'they're g-r-r-r-eat!'. For a new audience, I'd be tempted to go with, 'try it, you'll like it'. To keep our traditional elitist audience use, 'good taste is easy to recognise'. If you have ambitions for a faithful repeat audience you can't do better than 'love it for life'. 

I think you get the picture.

Some slogans may be directly relevant to niche museums and practically invite partnership working at some point in the future. How about these

Finger lickin' good - Museum of Food and Drink

I'd walk a mile for a camel - Camel Museum, Dubai

Snap Crackle and Pop - Museum of Club Culture, Hull

Schhh! You know who - International Spy Museum, Washington D.C.

Lifts and separates - Ulster Museum

The mark of a man - Amsterdam Tattoo Museum

For fast relief - Thackray Medical Museum, Leeds

Because I'm worth it - The Museum of Me, Intel

The power of dreams - Sigmund Freud Dream Museum, St. Petersburg

I'm Lovin' It - Sex Museum, Amsterdam

We answer to a higher authority - Creationist Museum, Petersburg, KY

You now have no excuse. Go out and steal a tagline that applies to your museum, get it on your museum promotions and watch the visitors roll in.

BEHOLD THE POWER OF MUSEUMS!


Can you think of a tagline for your museum? A prize is available if you can guess all the company slogans featured in this week's blog.

Museums Association Conference 2014 - Twitter Awards

And so another Museums Association Conference closes and the museum world waits in anticipation for the announcement of the 3rd Annual Conference Twitter Awards. Wait no more - it is here. But first some reflections on the twitter performance of the delegates.

Twitter numbers seem to be down again from last year, why is this? I have decided that it is due to more than speaker ill discipline. Surely by now the MA has passed on my recommendation to all speakers to keep sentences to 100 characters or less? Perhaps audiences are listening to speakers and reflecting more on their content before tweeting. This is preferable to the soundbite sugar rush that has my twitter feed pinging manically during an interesting conference session. A more reflective and questioning approach to tweets is a trend I heartily endorse and long may this continue as it gives the Twitter Jury less to get through when judging day comes.

My own tweeting was also down this year, I think it was down to riveting sessions, serious subject matter (less suited to the Museum of Unreason perspective) and a sprained thumb sustained hitchhiking down the country to Cardiff.

Now for the awards.

Best Excited Conference Anticipation Tweet

"Looking at the guide the first #museums2014 session should really be 'how to be in more than one place at once'... Can't wait!"@juliafrancess

Somewhat apt for a conference at the home of Doctor Who


Best MA Conference of the Future Tweet

"The good thing re. going to conf on twitter is that you get to 'curate'(!) your own experience and get to all the right things! #museums2014 "@alexwoodall

MA take notice - this is the future

Best Comment on Crowded Conference Sessions Tweet

"Can't move in art and science of curation! Maybe it's a metaphor for a museum store.." @ArchaeoMuse

I hadn't thought that my being squeezed into the back of a session was actually the result of the MA's conference delegate aquisitions policy.

Best Acknowledged Session Irony Tweet

"In the #museums2014 happiness debate. @tonybutler1 and I are finding the questions - ironically- rather taxing" @e_chaplin

Next year a Museum Taxing session with happy questions?


Best Session Criticism Tweet

"Frustrated again #museums2014 surely we all know museums can support social justice. How can this be an argument/ discussion for conference? "@cladle

Beautifully brilliant and blistering - here here


Best Aren't Museums Wonderful Tweet

"Museums can cause wonder and thereby enable visitors to experience the world more intensely - Martyn Evans"@artfund

Thanks to the Art Fund amongst others for sharing this piece of inspiration from Martyn


Best Philosophy For Life Tweet

Beautiful signoff @martindaws at #museums2014 "Be bold. People love you. I know as an artist when u have passion, there is no other option" @NickPoole1

Don't give people an option - make them love you (I'll start with the newsagent tomorrow morning)


Best Conference Compliment Tweet

#museums2014 2 days 1 unbelievable key note speech and 1 unbelievable key note performance. In a decade the best conference I have attended.@1969DMS


Calm down dear It's only a conference


And to finish


Best Biggest Mystery of the Conference Tweet

"Why are there aubergines in the microwave @thecardiffstory"
@RebeccaA_MA

Suggestions wanted on a postcard please.

If you think there are better ones please let me know, otherwise congratulations to the winners and see you all next year in Birmingham where we can perhaps get together over a kipper tie.

Cardiff MA Conference - Anticipation of Jibber Jabber Joo

The prospect of the upcoming Museums Association Conference in Cardiff has got me so excited that I've started bastardising nonsense poetry.*

On the Cardiff Nong!
With a conference Bong!
Where curators all say BOO!
There's a Cardiff Ning!
Where the workshops Ping!
And the keynotes jibber jabber joo.
On the Cardiff Nang!
The MA goes Clang!
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Cardiff Nong!
Conference Bong!
Cardiff Ning!
Workshops Ping!
Cardiff Nang!
The MA goes Clang!
What a noisy place to belong
is the Cardiff MA ConferNong!!

My moustache is waxed, my uniform pressed and my Twitter thumb is twitching in anticipation - see you there!!

*Sincere apologies to Spike Milligan and his 'On the Ning Nang Nong'

A Dream Fulfilled: original car park art

Having spent my life struggling to achieve an appropriate level of mediocrity in my chosen profession I had few ambitions left before Time's bony hand grasped my soul. However, one of the remaining ambitions was to inspire 'art of the car park' and thereby widen the appreciation of this modern architectural phenomenon as true heritage before we sleep walk into a carbon neutral (car park free?) future. In my blog 'The Future Will Be Better Tomorrow' I speculated that my work was done; there was no need to blog any more as the world had now woken up to this important issue. Almost immediately the Scottish independence referendum quickly brought me out of retirement; shockingly there was not one mention of car parks in the SNP manifesto. THEN, my inbox pinged, my heart leapt and my soul sang when 'Curfew 1: Three Car Parks' (below) was sent to me for my consideration.

When you go into a car park, how do you feel? Do you develop a different perspective on life? Does the sheer geometry of the location inspire you? Does the bleakness of concrete and metal overwhelm you? Or do you just get your car keys out, open the car door and drive off, missing the possibility of possibility.

In the case of this immensely talented young artist, car parks have inspired her to map her subconscious psychogeographical experiences in those spaces to create something new, and special, and wonderful. In a previous blog I considered Picasso's view that, 'art is the lie that enables us to realise the truth'. Little did I think that I would see the embodiment of Picasso's thesis.

'Curfew 1: Three Car Parks' has an inherent truth. Study it closely and our human interaction with car parks begins to make sense. The rawness of it speaks to the very soul of soullessness that car parks appear to embody. But the piece takes that bleakness, reflects it, deflects it and then fashions an impossible beauty from it. Thus it goes beyond Picasso, it has strong echoes of Nietzsche. I would hesitate to go as far as asserting that standing in a car park is like gazing into the abyss, but it is a locus enabling you to face down the monsters within you to allow true artistic release. As Neitzsche stated in the prologue to Thus Spoke Zarathustra “You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star”. 

This work is a dancing star.

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Aren't car parks wonderful. Isn't art wonderful. Isn't life great. Art makes life worthwhile and car parks make a trip to the shops bearable - apologies for the bathos - so excuse me while I wipe a manly tear from my eye and go and lie down for a bit.

Curfew 1: Three Car Parks lithograph by Sarah Fischer