1. Top Gear Museum - popular everywhere except France (something in itself worthy of celebration)
The museum was built 10 years ago, even so it has seen very little change and the displays themselves remain minimal. It is open regularly with events liberally spaced throughout the year, but what do you actually get? Patrons are faced with prospect of standing around in an empty warehouse being abused by some badly dressed costumed interpreters. You have to question their volunteer recruitment policy as the museum seems to be exclusively populated by xenophobic middle aged men. Of the few cars on show visitors are only allowed to touch the reasonably priced one. The do it yourself car making events are original and inventive but lack the important ingredient of audience participation.
In the end it is a museum that manages to proclaim British ingenuity and superiority whilst demonstrating the exact opposite and in the process offending everyone. A difficult achievement that we can all learn from.
3. Downton Abbey Museum - more tea vicar?
A recent museum, it just seems like its been around for a hundred years. Following the National Trust country house heritage template (5 million members can't be wrong - well they can but that is a matter for another blog) with an interpretive strategy of '..the clock stopped'. Cynics suggest that they have just forgotten that clocks need winding up occasionally.
4. Sherlock Museum - the footprints of a gigantic ....museum?
A modern redevelopment of an old museum set at the same location in West London. The downside is that it is only open for 3 days a year for an hour and a half. This means, inevitably, that you have to queue. It uses the traditional room setting in the Downton Abbey manner but much much smaller and only comfortable for a handful of people at a time. The real problem is the simplistic interpretation which just leaves clues forcing the visitor to try and work it out themselves - baffling. At least Sudoku fans should enjoy it. The occasional violin music give me a headache fortunately the museum cafe sells opium laced cream teas to ease the pain.
Given that the museum states ,"True deduction can only be obtained through a certain amount of self annihilation" I came away suitably diminished, certain in the knowledge that if I opened my mouth I would, "lower the IQ of the whole street". Entertaining? Yes. Confusing? Possibly. Interpretive style? Elementary.
3 stars
5. The Office Museum - the second best museum in Slough
A slice of industrial heritage, celebrating the great British paper industry. Sadly it hasn't been updated in over 10 years. However, the museum itself successfully explores the 'back office' function through its social and professional relationships. Less glamorous than our country house heritage but nonetheless just as important. It gives an excellent insight into the collapse of British manufacturing base through egoistic incompetence (n.b. all politicians should visit). As Gareth points out;
"I did learn a lot from David. I learnt from his mistakes. We're very different people; he used humour where I use discipline. And I learnt that nobody respects him. And in a war situation, if you want your platoon to go over the top with you to certain death, it's no good saying to them "Please come with me lads, I'll tell you a joke." It's a direct order "Come with me." And they'll go "Yes, he's got good leadership skills, let's all go with him to our certain death".
Wise words we can all benefit from.
I leave the final words to Jeremy Clarkson himself, "It was rubbish when it was new, it was built by idiots, and it's rubbish now...you avoid it like you would avoid unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite."
1 star
2. Dr. Who Museum - the longest running (i.e. interminable) science fiction show in the Universe
This museum has been going for 50 years, although it is often forgotten that it actually closed down for over 10 years before a HLF grant greatly improved the graphics and displays to bring it back to life. As a result it is now and more popular than ever, but what is the visitor experience like? Well, inside it is much larger than you would expect. In fact, according to the other-worldly manager of the museum, "It's vast complicated and ridiculous." That is no exaggeration; there is so much to see, but the major drawback is that there is no logic to the visitor route - the chronology is all over the place. And what is it with the museum guides? They have a disconcerting tendency to change (sometimes in mid sentence) into completely different characters - confusing.
2. Dr. Who Museum - the longest running (i.e. interminable) science fiction show in the Universe
This museum has been going for 50 years, although it is often forgotten that it actually closed down for over 10 years before a HLF grant greatly improved the graphics and displays to bring it back to life. As a result it is now and more popular than ever, but what is the visitor experience like? Well, inside it is much larger than you would expect. In fact, according to the other-worldly manager of the museum, "It's vast complicated and ridiculous." That is no exaggeration; there is so much to see, but the major drawback is that there is no logic to the visitor route - the chronology is all over the place. And what is it with the museum guides? They have a disconcerting tendency to change (sometimes in mid sentence) into completely different characters - confusing.
If you are intent on visiting, what is the best advice? "Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink.” Not recommended for narcoleptics.
3 stars
3. Downton Abbey Museum - more tea vicar?
A recent museum, it just seems like its been around for a hundred years. Following the National Trust country house heritage template (5 million members can't be wrong - well they can but that is a matter for another blog) with an interpretive strategy of '..the clock stopped'. Cynics suggest that they have just forgotten that clocks need winding up occasionally.
Visitors get the traditional room settings and a complete set of servants quarters (National Trust take note). The downside is that the servants quarters are actually fake and 60 miles away in London. I therefore recommend you buy the 1 day pass.
Simon Schama described the museum as 'cultural necrophilia' - wrong! I can recommend many other museums (try Guanajuato's El Museo De Las Momias for example) offering better examples of that for dear Simon. It is not cultural necrophilia as it is something very much alive, breathing quietly in a corner and offering restraint, dignity and manners. This museum offers a comfortable certainty (allowing for the odd liner sinking and World War) in a world of uncomfortable uncertainty. Is it cultural? It is certainly cultured; perhaps it's culturally uncultured culture; and therein lies its appeal - a pretty pretentious soap opera augmented by the auratic gaze of nostalgic traditionalism. Perfect.
This museum is unsinkable - so what is its future? The noble Lord Grantham himself said, "..every ship is unsinkable until it sinks."
Simon Schama described the museum as 'cultural necrophilia' - wrong! I can recommend many other museums (try Guanajuato's El Museo De Las Momias for example) offering better examples of that for dear Simon. It is not cultural necrophilia as it is something very much alive, breathing quietly in a corner and offering restraint, dignity and manners. This museum offers a comfortable certainty (allowing for the odd liner sinking and World War) in a world of uncomfortable uncertainty. Is it cultural? It is certainly cultured; perhaps it's culturally uncultured culture; and therein lies its appeal - a pretty pretentious soap opera augmented by the auratic gaze of nostalgic traditionalism. Perfect.
This museum is unsinkable - so what is its future? The noble Lord Grantham himself said, "..every ship is unsinkable until it sinks."
5 stars
4. Sherlock Museum - the footprints of a gigantic ....museum?
A modern redevelopment of an old museum set at the same location in West London. The downside is that it is only open for 3 days a year for an hour and a half. This means, inevitably, that you have to queue. It uses the traditional room setting in the Downton Abbey manner but much much smaller and only comfortable for a handful of people at a time. The real problem is the simplistic interpretation which just leaves clues forcing the visitor to try and work it out themselves - baffling. At least Sudoku fans should enjoy it. The occasional violin music give me a headache fortunately the museum cafe sells opium laced cream teas to ease the pain.
Given that the museum states ,"True deduction can only be obtained through a certain amount of self annihilation" I came away suitably diminished, certain in the knowledge that if I opened my mouth I would, "lower the IQ of the whole street". Entertaining? Yes. Confusing? Possibly. Interpretive style? Elementary.
3 stars
5. The Office Museum - the second best museum in Slough
A slice of industrial heritage, celebrating the great British paper industry. Sadly it hasn't been updated in over 10 years. However, the museum itself successfully explores the 'back office' function through its social and professional relationships. Less glamorous than our country house heritage but nonetheless just as important. It gives an excellent insight into the collapse of British manufacturing base through egoistic incompetence (n.b. all politicians should visit). As Gareth points out;
"I did learn a lot from David. I learnt from his mistakes. We're very different people; he used humour where I use discipline. And I learnt that nobody respects him. And in a war situation, if you want your platoon to go over the top with you to certain death, it's no good saying to them "Please come with me lads, I'll tell you a joke." It's a direct order "Come with me." And they'll go "Yes, he's got good leadership skills, let's all go with him to our certain death".
Wise words we can all benefit from.
If a museum's strength is that it enables us to learn from the past, in the hope that we can apply the lessons to the future, then The Office Museum is ideal learning material because it didn't last long before closing down, transferring to America to gain long-running success.
For the British economic delusion in a nutshell I leave the last words to David Brent, " I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants."
4 stars
For the British economic delusion in a nutshell I leave the last words to David Brent, " I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants."
4 stars
