'Museum, in thy thoughts be all my visits remembered'

Recently unearthed in the Museum of Unreason archive is this original letter of reflection on museum visiting from a young Billy Shakespeare dated 1588.  It is believed he changed it and used it again for one of his minor plays, I forget which.

To visit, or not to visit--that is the question:

Whether your wallet can suffer 

The entrance fee of outrageous fortune 

Or qualify for a bewildering sea of discounts 

And by choosing enter. To visit, to sleep-- 

No more--and by a sleep to say we're bored 

The headache, and the thousand interpretation panels 

That eyes are witness to. 'Tis then a cup of tea 

Devoutly to be wished. But to visit, not to sleep-- 

To wake--perchance to enjoy: ay, there's the rub, 

For in that interactivity what fun may come 

When we have shuffled off our duffle coats, 

Must give us pause. There's that desire 

That makes bearable so long a visit. 

For who would bear the whips and scorns of museum visits, 

Th' receptionist's wrong, the room steward's contumely 

The pangs of despised stairs, the lift's delay, 

The insolence of staff, and the spurns 

That patient merit of th' visitor takes, 

When he himself might his quietus make 

With a guide book? Who would rubbish buy, 

To grunt and sweat under a weary audio, 

But that the dread of something in the shop, 

The undiscovered marmalade, from whose taste 

No traveller recovers from, puzzles the will, 

And makes us rather bear Tesco's own brand 

Than fly to jam that we know not of? 

Thus a museum does make cowards of us all, 

And thus the prospect of repeat visiting 

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, 

About scones of great depth and hardness 

With this regard their currants turn awry 

And lose the name of edible. -- Soft you now, 

Fair cream tea! -- Museum, in thy thoughts 

Be all my visits remembered.

Twitter Wars - @WillyShaking v @FrannyBacon

Having discovered in last week's blog that Shakespeare may have been the first person to use the word 'tweep', further research uncovered the fact that William Shakespeare was a prolific user of the micro blogging phenomenon that is Twitter. I understand academics have erroneously suggested that Francis Bacon composed his tweets. The evidence is scant, and if you follow Twitter, Francis Bacon's @FrannyBacon user aphorisms seem to lack the poetry of a finely honed William Shakespeare @WillyShaking tweet. All of which must give the lie to that particular conspiracy theory. The evidence is right there before your very eyes. Compare them for yourself below and see if you agree.

Here are some from the William Shakespeare @WillyShaking archive.

"Tweet all, retweet a few, do wrong to none"

"If twitter be the food of love, tweet on"

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but our twitter feed"

"Tweet to many, message to a few"

"Better a witty tweet than a foolish tweet"

"There is nothing either good or bad but tweeting makes it so"

"Hell is empty and all the devils are on twitter"

"The course of retweets never did run smooth"

"And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tweets in trees, tweets in the running brooks, tweets in stones, and tweets in everything"

"But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's tweets"

"How far that little tweet throws its beams! So shines a good tweet in a naughty world"

"Life is as tedious as retweeted tale, vexing the twitter feed of a drowsy man"

"Tweets without thoughts never retweeted go"

"Tweeting isn't doing. It is a kind of good deed to say well; and yet tweets are not deeds"

"A retweet sought is good, but given unsought, is better"

"The empty tweet makes the loudest sound"

"Now, God be praised, that twitter gives light in darkness, comfort in despair"

"Pleasure of tweeting make the hours seem short"

"When tweets come, they come not single spies, but in battalions"


Here are a handful of Francis Bacon @BaconButty

"Tweeting is power"

"It is impossible to tweet and be wise"

"A prudent tweet is one half of wisdom"

"Twitter makes dull men witty"

"The job of the tweeter is to always deepen the mystery"

"Tweets are thieves of time"

and finally.

"blogging about tweets steals even more time" @museumu

Follow us all at @museumu, @WillyShaking, @FrannyBacon for insightful and poetic thoughts on social media