More Words of Inspiration

Visitor Services

Rome built a great empire by killing all those who opposed them. Those they could not kill they built a wall to keep them out.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

Management

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. 

A manager who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Prioritisation

INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY

Digitisation

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. 

Teamwork

Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself. 

Never under estimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Time Management

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 

We waste time so you don't have to

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

Interpretation

Plagiarism saves time.

Inspiration

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away

The beatings will continue until morale improves

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break

In the End

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

Five Management Secrets I Learned From My Cat

As an enlightened museum manager always on the lookout to improve upon my innate genius. The other day my eye was caught by an article on '5 Management Secrets I Learned From My Dog'

http://blog.hootsuite.com/5-management-secrets-i-learned-from-my-dog/

Needless to say I took the view that you can't teach an old dog new tricks and did not bother to read it. But having spent my lunchtime in the local park I decided to indulge in some action research on dog 'management' behaviours that could be put into practice in that afternoon's Trustees meeting.

The meeting turned out to be a short but turbulent affair. The Trustees objected to me licking their hands on arrival and the Secretary refused to throw my copy of the agenda across the room so that I could go and fetch it. Although I growled quite convincingly when anyone went near my sandwiches, the meeting ended abruptly when I tried to hump the Chairman's leg.

Clearly having canine related management strategies is the work of the unhinged. Yet it may be that it is just the wrong pet. Cats lead, dogs follow. I perused the internet to find out what the great minds of human history thought and they agree with me. Carl Van Vechten puts it beautifully and concisely, "There is no single quality of the cat that man could not emulate to his advantage."

So learning management skills from a dog is plainly stupid. Much more sensible is to learn from cats.  As Jeff Valdez observed, " Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow."

The clear lesson here is: managers are cats, staff are dogs.

So I thought I would impart the wisdom of cats to the put upon museum manager. Follow these five tips and you can't go wrong.

Five Management Secrets I Learned from My Cat. (Her name is Lulu by the way)

1. Prioritisation
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." Mary Bly

2. Pragmatic Motivation
"Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him." Lynn Hollyn

3. Self Confidence
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." Anon

4. Assertiveness
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." Joseph Wood Krutch.

5. Ruthlessness
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." Bruce Graham.


TOO ERR IS HUMAN TO PURR FELINE


All quotes sourced from maxellah.tripod.com/catquo.htm