Who To Trust Too - legal matters

The Museum of Unreason is taking the long and lonely journey towards becoming the Unreasonable Trust. Museum manager Frank Unreasoning has been using the Yorkshire Renaissance step by step guide to creating a trust as his guide into these uncharted waters. He is helped in this process by the cleaner SUE (Seriously Under Employed) and the Chair of the Friends Group BOB (Blindly Optimistic Busybody).

Having successfully completed the 'Part 1 Feasibility Stage'  in the centre cubicle of the gents toilet, I waited there until all the staff had gone home. It only remained for me to actually get the public out of the building and close the doors to enable 'Part 2 The Detailed Planning Phase' to begin in earnest.

Part 2 The Detailed Planning Phase

LEGAL - Prepare necessary documentation.

Having found a cushion for the toilet seat and put in an extra order for toilet rolls for the paperwork I had the supplies ready to start to 'prepare the necessary documentation'. After quite a considerable length of time (increased by having to follow the order to 'now wash your hands' at the bottom of every sheet) I finished the document.

Although every museum manager must be able to multitask I realised that I was not legally trained so I needed some advice (even Sue couldn't help with this). However recently the council had outsourced our legal advice to 'Pricey, Inept and Tardy' solicitors in the High Street. Consultation with them was bound to use up the remaining museum budget so I hit upon a good plan. I anonymously sent the draft legal agreement to them coupled with a bomb warning and threatened to detonate it in 72 hours unless they gave me advice to be deposited in the form of a telephone box sex ad number at the booth on the corner by the chip shop. Photos of some old WWII ammunition in the Museum of Unreason's collection proved useful in this respect (note to self, take them out of the schools handling collection and put them into a secure store).

This plan turned out slightly more expensive than I imagined as there were a lot of numbers to go through before finding the right one. However, on the plus side I learned some interesting new 'exercises' which may be possible after a drastic weight loss programme and a series of yoga sessions. Even better, I have date this weekend with a genuine high class playful Russian lady who is very anxious to meet me, but who has an ailing grandmother in Moscow. I hope I can help her in some way.

Eventually I got my advice.

"Frank is that you again? We have a council retainer so the advice won't cost you anything, but thank you for your document as we were running short of toilet roll supplies. It seems the supply company has run out because of a massive order from another organisation. We have a standard set of documents that we can send to the museum or put in a skip round the corner if you prefer."

I opted for the skip just to be safe.

Documentation successfully prepared I went to the next step.

LEGAL  - Establish shadow board and chair-designate

Easy  - a quick trip to Homebase for a bright light, chipboard and an office chair seemed would solve that problem. As I was setting this up the cleaner advised me that it should involve people as well and furthermore where was she expected to put all the toilet rolls? So I quickly retired to the central cubicle of the gents toilet again to wait for the Bob to come in so that I could offer him another piece of furniture to sit on.


Next week - recruiting the shadow board