Be quiet, tweeps. Wherefore throng you hither?*

I am over the MA conference and back on terrafirma, but my thoughts have been on twitterfirma ever since. Learning the new word 'tweeps' was possibly the highlight of my conference (I'm not sure what that says about me - or the conference). My thanks must go to the prolific museum tweeter Rachel Cockett (@RachaelCockett) for introducing me to the word. Since then I've have been adding 'tw' to most things much to the annoyance of the general public. The process is simple, if you tweet, read tweets, or even think about tweeting whilst indulging in everyday activity simply 'twitterfy' the word or phrase. For example, since the conference:

I've been twubbing (tweeting in a pub)

I've had a nice relaxing twubble bath

I've twined in a restaurant

and I've tweeded the garden - and very nice it looks too.

The possibilities now become interesting. Cockney rhyming slang will have to adapt. Will cockney 'tweezers' go out for a 'twuby' on a Saturday night, dressed in their 'twistles', I would suggest this is no less incomprehensible that the real thing.

When the kids have an extra day's holiday is that because the teachers will be having a 'twinset' day?

Will bagpipers now indulge in a quick 'twirl' of the pipes?

Do you tweet in the hairdresser's? Having your fringe whilst sending a tweet would that be a 'twinge'?

If somebody gives you a hint and you tweet it, would it be a 'twinkling'?

If you share the highlight of the conference on twitter would that have been the 'twilight'?

Would a museum curator accidentally 'tweak' a Ming vase by dropping it on the floor?

I could go on, and probably have. This all very diverting  - please tweet if you have some good suggestions with the long term aim of getting these words into the updated Oxford English Dictionary.

But beware - there are dangers. I'd never want a twitter chat to become a 'twat'. Or do I?

*  A Comedy of Errors - I may have found incontrovertible evidence that Shakespeare invented the word 'tweep' although there is a large coffee stain on the page in question so I can't be certain.