Last week my attention was drawn to the strange world of East Midlands heritage, so I've made it my mission to keep an eye on it so that the rest of you don't have to. However I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that there is something strangely great about this part of the world - but more of that later.
I used to regard the East Midlands as a sort of geographical barrier between Yorkshire and civilisation i.e. London. A sort of regional Hadrian's Wall. It has proved surprisingly poor at its main (only) job as I am assaulted on a regular basis by flat vowels when strolling through the leafy thoroughfares of SW1.
I hasten to add I do not regard the West Midlands in the same way, things seem to happen there. They've had this Shakespeare bloke producing plays for posh people for ages. Slade and Wizard invented the Christmas party in 1973 with 'Merry Christmas Everybody' and 'I Wish it Could Be Could Be Christmas Everyday'. The world would certainly be a poorer place without Ozzy Osbourne and Robbie Williams. However after a short mental drive up the M42 I could only come up with Paper Lace's 'Billy Don't Be a Hero', a moving celebration of cowardice. At least they had the word lace in their name.
At last I realised they've got Robin Hood, an international signifier of fairness and the struggle of people for justice. They must be shouting about him from the roof tops. Hmm... apparently not. The best I could find was a celebration of the Sheriff of Nottingham at the Galleries of Justice Museum - the baddie! This has allowed Doncaster to try and claim him, but Robin Hood a Yorkshireman? A Yorkshireman knows too much the value of 'brass' to give it away.
Then suddenly local BBC website is crowing about 2 multi-million pound Robin Hood extravaganzas. A £13m development at Nottingham Castle and a £13m development in Sherwood Forest.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-20146713
Instantly local academics are questioning their sustainability. It's slightly surprising they are not complaining that it's not the King John Visitor Extravaganza.
However look a bit more closely to see the peculiar East Midlands madness at work.
It seems Nottinghamshire County Council want to build a castle in Sherwood Forest and Nottingham City Council want to recreate Sherwood Forest in the castle. If they want each others assets that badly why don't they just do a swap and spend the £26m on a Paper Lace museum?
Better still - have Nottingham City noticed they haven't got a castle? Spend the £13m knocking down that hideous modern bungalow masquerading as a castle and put up a proper one. Has Nottinghamshire County noticed that Sherwood Forest is down to about half a dozen trees and a 'major oak' held together with concrete and steel girders. Spend the £13m planting trees to recreate the splendour of the original hunting grounds. Problem solved and there may still be a few ££ left over for the Paper Lace museum.
Next week it's the Museum Association conference and I'll be reporting on that extravaganza in my next blog. In the meantime those of you going to Edinburgh this year from Museumland (London) and you are flying over the East Midlands or your train is briefly stopping at Grantham, look out the window and wave at a place of unassuming madness we should all celebrate - the EAST MIDLANDS.
Sunday, 4 November 2012
Saturday, 27 October 2012
Save Our East Midlands Car Parks
I have felt compelled to break from my usual blogs about the ongoing challenge of managing a modern museum to reflect on disturbing news emanating from the heart of England.
The good burghers of Leicester have recently vandalised a perfectly good car park to find a 500 year old suspect in double child murder case known as Richard III (or known in gangland circles as Triple Dickie). Not so much a cold case as an ice box. What are they going to do? Find the skeleton guilty and sentence him to permanent display in the Galleries of Justice in Nottingham?
This could be put down to an aberration, but then I discover that the wayward citizens of Northampton are busily destroying their car park heritage to find a castle. A castle! A building for which there is no practical use and will be a drain on the local economy. The exact opposite of a car park. What has Leicester started?
Next thing you know Lincoln will be knocking down a perfectly good multi storey car park to put up a new museum unimaginatively called 'The Collection' or something. Oh no, they've already done that.
What is it with the East Midlands? Don't they realise they are merely a region you go through in order to get to somewhere else. Will they attract more visitors by emphasising their violent and murderous past, or have more places to park? I think the answer is obvious.
Lets start a Save our East Midlands Car Parks campaign. In this country we only want to save our heritage when it is under threat. Lets act now before they are all gone. Already they are becoming much more expensive to use- soon we'll stop using them and then there's nothing to stop heritage vandals from putting useless castles in their place.
Act Now! Start a passive resistance campaign. Go shopping in Derby this weekend-by car. The future is in your hands.
You have been warned.
The good burghers of Leicester have recently vandalised a perfectly good car park to find a 500 year old suspect in double child murder case known as Richard III (or known in gangland circles as Triple Dickie). Not so much a cold case as an ice box. What are they going to do? Find the skeleton guilty and sentence him to permanent display in the Galleries of Justice in Nottingham?
This could be put down to an aberration, but then I discover that the wayward citizens of Northampton are busily destroying their car park heritage to find a castle. A castle! A building for which there is no practical use and will be a drain on the local economy. The exact opposite of a car park. What has Leicester started?
Next thing you know Lincoln will be knocking down a perfectly good multi storey car park to put up a new museum unimaginatively called 'The Collection' or something. Oh no, they've already done that.
What is it with the East Midlands? Don't they realise they are merely a region you go through in order to get to somewhere else. Will they attract more visitors by emphasising their violent and murderous past, or have more places to park? I think the answer is obvious.
Lets start a Save our East Midlands Car Parks campaign. In this country we only want to save our heritage when it is under threat. Lets act now before they are all gone. Already they are becoming much more expensive to use- soon we'll stop using them and then there's nothing to stop heritage vandals from putting useless castles in their place.
Act Now! Start a passive resistance campaign. Go shopping in Derby this weekend-by car. The future is in your hands.
You have been warned.
Friday, 19 October 2012
The Armstrong Defence for Museum Management
You may be wondering at my lack of communication recently.
My last couple of blogs outlining my top tips for museum management resulted in a somewhat unexpected round of grievance cases, resignations and a generous amount of time given to me to tend my garden. Suitably rested and having encouraged an amazing collection of thistles, dandelions and nettles I'm back.
However, this break enabled me to enjoy the 'Great Summer of Sport'. I now know the Olympic Games happened in somewhere called Lundin; Andy Murray became a Great British tennis player rather than a Scottish loser, and some bloke rode his pushbike around France and all he won was a lousy yellow t-shirt.
After becoming a cycling enthusiast, I then discover that lots of pushbike riders claimed to have taken drugs to help them ride better. This seems ludicrous. I once tried to ride home from the Dog and Duck with 10 pints of lager inside me - as a result I spent the night in a ditch and now have a permanent limp. Thus Lance Armstrong must be telling the truth and he is surely an inspiration to us all in his stance when all evidence points to his guilt.
So here are three tips for the 'Lance Armstrong Defence' to be used in disciplinary hearings but can be useful for museums in general.
1. Refuse to mount a defence and walk out on the witch hunt.
Museums could learn from this advocacy method in response to public sector cuts. Ignore the loss of income and keep spending. What can the funders do? Sell the collection? No wait....
2. Despite being tested over 500 times I never displayed any signs of positive management.
Museums should avoid positive management at all costs, because if its discovered just once assumptions will be that it could have been done all the time - reputations would be ruined overnight
3. All the eyewitness testimony is biased, because the witnesses are all bitter alcoholics and prostitutes.
A catch all description for any critic of the museum. If said with a vehement conviction whilst foaming at the mouth if nothing else this will buy you time and medical attention.
If you use these defences relentlessly and with gusto it will take the authorities at least 10 years to prove your guilt by which time they would have closed the museum anyway.
Good luck!
My last couple of blogs outlining my top tips for museum management resulted in a somewhat unexpected round of grievance cases, resignations and a generous amount of time given to me to tend my garden. Suitably rested and having encouraged an amazing collection of thistles, dandelions and nettles I'm back.
However, this break enabled me to enjoy the 'Great Summer of Sport'. I now know the Olympic Games happened in somewhere called Lundin; Andy Murray became a Great British tennis player rather than a Scottish loser, and some bloke rode his pushbike around France and all he won was a lousy yellow t-shirt.
After becoming a cycling enthusiast, I then discover that lots of pushbike riders claimed to have taken drugs to help them ride better. This seems ludicrous. I once tried to ride home from the Dog and Duck with 10 pints of lager inside me - as a result I spent the night in a ditch and now have a permanent limp. Thus Lance Armstrong must be telling the truth and he is surely an inspiration to us all in his stance when all evidence points to his guilt.
So here are three tips for the 'Lance Armstrong Defence' to be used in disciplinary hearings but can be useful for museums in general.
1. Refuse to mount a defence and walk out on the witch hunt.
Museums could learn from this advocacy method in response to public sector cuts. Ignore the loss of income and keep spending. What can the funders do? Sell the collection? No wait....
2. Despite being tested over 500 times I never displayed any signs of positive management.
Museums should avoid positive management at all costs, because if its discovered just once assumptions will be that it could have been done all the time - reputations would be ruined overnight
3. All the eyewitness testimony is biased, because the witnesses are all bitter alcoholics and prostitutes.
A catch all description for any critic of the museum. If said with a vehement conviction whilst foaming at the mouth if nothing else this will buy you time and medical attention.
If you use these defences relentlessly and with gusto it will take the authorities at least 10 years to prove your guilt by which time they would have closed the museum anyway.
Good luck!
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Managing Change
This blog continues to chart the move to trust status of the Museum of Unreason.
This week, although I have been continuing to work on the detailed business plan, one thing I have realised is that things have to change.
When managing change there are many problems to resolve, theories to implement, ungrateful and under performing staff to sack etc.
Every manager should have a theory, you should listen to people who make sense to you, and mock unmercifully people you disagree with. So purely in terms of human resource management Machiavelli is one of my management guru heroes. I am particularly fond of, 'A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise'. I also slavishly follow his 'Before all else, be armed'.
In terms of advice on taking up a new post in a museum, Machiavelli is clear, 'The new ruler must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all.' Inspirational stuff.
But he is a lot less confident when it comes to managing change, 'There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.' Now that is worrying when the most enlightened management consultant in European history says that change management is a difficult thing to do. (For a more conservative Eastern perspective there is nothing better than Sun Tsu's Art of War. Try his advice in your next management meeting, 'Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness' and see what happens.)
Anyway, in terms of change management I have had to find my own path. So here is my practical advice for instant action.
1. Hide in a cupboard until all the staff have gone home.
2. Spend the evening rearranging all the items in the office and, crucially, the museum stores
3. The next day if you have done your job properly the institution will instantly grind to a halt and the stick in the mud curator will have a a spectacular nervous breakdown, verbally abuse you and fall into your 'dealing with criticism by under performing staff' trap (see previous blog).
4. Now its your opportunity to initiate the 'need to change' conversation. Add incentives such as promising to tell the staff where the toilet roll is when they have agreed to all cost cutting measures and operational changes. Note Machiavelli's advice above on promises to keep them on their toes.
Thus instant action is generated and whatever unrest you have caused, reassure yourself with Machiavelli again, 'Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil'
Now you know what any enlightened manager realises and knows to be true -
You are doing good work and the staff are all evil.
All quotes helpfully supplied by
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/niccolo_machiavelli_3.html#dDrwAIe0HJreTosE.99
This week, although I have been continuing to work on the detailed business plan, one thing I have realised is that things have to change.
When managing change there are many problems to resolve, theories to implement, ungrateful and under performing staff to sack etc.
Every manager should have a theory, you should listen to people who make sense to you, and mock unmercifully people you disagree with. So purely in terms of human resource management Machiavelli is one of my management guru heroes. I am particularly fond of, 'A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise'. I also slavishly follow his 'Before all else, be armed'.
In terms of advice on taking up a new post in a museum, Machiavelli is clear, 'The new ruler must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all.' Inspirational stuff.
But he is a lot less confident when it comes to managing change, 'There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.' Now that is worrying when the most enlightened management consultant in European history says that change management is a difficult thing to do. (For a more conservative Eastern perspective there is nothing better than Sun Tsu's Art of War. Try his advice in your next management meeting, 'Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness' and see what happens.)
Anyway, in terms of change management I have had to find my own path. So here is my practical advice for instant action.
1. Hide in a cupboard until all the staff have gone home.
2. Spend the evening rearranging all the items in the office and, crucially, the museum stores
3. The next day if you have done your job properly the institution will instantly grind to a halt and the stick in the mud curator will have a a spectacular nervous breakdown, verbally abuse you and fall into your 'dealing with criticism by under performing staff' trap (see previous blog).
4. Now its your opportunity to initiate the 'need to change' conversation. Add incentives such as promising to tell the staff where the toilet roll is when they have agreed to all cost cutting measures and operational changes. Note Machiavelli's advice above on promises to keep them on their toes.
Thus instant action is generated and whatever unrest you have caused, reassure yourself with Machiavelli again, 'Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil'
Now you know what any enlightened manager realises and knows to be true -
You are doing good work and the staff are all evil.
All quotes helpfully supplied by
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/niccolo_machiavelli_3.html#dDrwAIe0HJreTosE.99
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Dealing with criticism from underperforming museum staff - the 'Unreasoning Way'
This blog continues to chart the move to trust status of the Museum of Unreason. Over the past few weeks I have been working on the detailed business plan. However the interim report I sent to the guiding committee, and I quote from the executive summary,
"...the museum makes no sense as a business and is unsustainable, will continue to be unsustainable and will never ever be sustainable while I have anything to do with it...",
has resulted in criticism of my management, when it was clearly my intention to blame everybody else.
So now is an appropriate time to deal with the criticism and at the same time offer advice on how to deal with underperforming staff. Firstly a word of warning, this cannot be done quickly, much time must be spent in front of the mirror practising your sincerity before tackling the situation. Assuming, like me, you do it as a matter of course when you look in the bathroom mirror every morning lets cut to the chase.
1. Analyse the nature of the performance shortfall and quantify all the reasons you can think of why the staff are to blame.You only need to do this once then keep photocopies in your filing cabinet with gaps to put the name in when the occasion arises.
2. Meet with thescapegoat key member of staff in a relaxed non-threatening environment. I prefer the gents toilets (toilet rolls handy to deal with manipulative tears and also for comfort breaks when the meeting drags on).
3. Make sure that all parties are aware that this is a positive meeting and begin by asking how we as a team can come up with solutions to the problems.
4. Listen very very carefully and pull the sincere face you've been practising in the mirror A LOT. But what you are waiting for is any admission of error, weakness, culpability on his/her part that has contributed to the problem. As an experienced and competent manager like myself you will be forced to listen to a lot of the blame being directed towards you, but as an experienced and competent manager like myself you know this to be a sign of staff incompetence and it is your job to prove it.
5. At the end of the exchange of views, clarify and summarise the meeting in an objective, non-judgemental and sympathetic way then immediately replace the useless waster with someone who can actually do the work, preferably on a voluntary basis.
Job done! Thus we move one step closer to sustainability, and in the case of getting rid of the curator not having to listen to constant demands for acid free paper when we have piles of toilet roll to use up.
My next task - start paying my staff in Euros.
"...the museum makes no sense as a business and is unsustainable, will continue to be unsustainable and will never ever be sustainable while I have anything to do with it...",
has resulted in criticism of my management, when it was clearly my intention to blame everybody else.
So now is an appropriate time to deal with the criticism and at the same time offer advice on how to deal with underperforming staff. Firstly a word of warning, this cannot be done quickly, much time must be spent in front of the mirror practising your sincerity before tackling the situation. Assuming, like me, you do it as a matter of course when you look in the bathroom mirror every morning lets cut to the chase.
1. Analyse the nature of the performance shortfall and quantify all the reasons you can think of why the staff are to blame.You only need to do this once then keep photocopies in your filing cabinet with gaps to put the name in when the occasion arises.
2. Meet with the
3. Make sure that all parties are aware that this is a positive meeting and begin by asking how we as a team can come up with solutions to the problems.
4. Listen very very carefully and pull the sincere face you've been practising in the mirror A LOT. But what you are waiting for is any admission of error, weakness, culpability on his/her part that has contributed to the problem. As an experienced and competent manager like myself you will be forced to listen to a lot of the blame being directed towards you, but as an experienced and competent manager like myself you know this to be a sign of staff incompetence and it is your job to prove it.
5. At the end of the exchange of views, clarify and summarise the meeting in an objective, non-judgemental and sympathetic way then immediately replace the useless waster with someone who can actually do the work, preferably on a voluntary basis.
Job done! Thus we move one step closer to sustainability, and in the case of getting rid of the curator not having to listen to constant demands for acid free paper when we have piles of toilet roll to use up.
My next task - start paying my staff in Euros.
Saturday, 2 June 2012
The Jumblies Jubilee
The Museum of Unreason has taken a break from planning it's inexorable move towards trust status to celebrate the fact that our noble Queen isn't dead yet. Thus we all get an extra day off work to celebrate life and that is a good thing. However in the museum world it means we have to open our doors for longer so no day off for us.
However, the management sent me a memo for me to organise 'something, anything for the Jumbilee'. I think there may have been a misprint as I know the Jumblies have the 'i' after the 'l'. But I found it a strange coincidence that there was an Edward Lear anniversary (he was born in 1812) the very same year that the Queen was still alive. So I hit upon THE JUMBLIES JUBILEE - a red, white and blue celebration of sieve based water transport.
So if you visit the Museum of Unreason this weekend all the staff and volunteers (the ones who haven't resigned) have had their heads painted green and their hands painted blue. On sale is no end of Stilton cheese, owls, useful carts, pounds of rice and cranberry tarts (sure to be big sellers - kindly supplied by Mrs. Aged-Volunteer).The live pig and monkey have been a bit of a handful, but putting neat brandy in their food seems to have calmed them down. However there is jackdaw poo everywhere (the cleaner is going to kill me once I've persuaded her to withdraw her resignation).
I made it my personal challenge to brew up 40 bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree. Unfortunately the internet and in particular Wikipedia has let me down - they don't have the recipe.
So my idea for fun for all the family is 'brew your own Ring-Bo-Ree'
In the interest of research I thought I'd better test the idea with a recipe of my own. Exploring my drinks cupboard I began to experiment.
1 shot of vodka
1 shot of schnapps
1 shot of brandy
1 shot of gin
1 shot of Etna Fire (much regretted drunken holiday purchase)
1 shot of whiskey
1 shot of whisky
1 ice cube, 1 umbrella, 1 straw, 1 bucket
another shot of brandy
more vodka
more brandy
a bit more vodka
morr wiskie
sum more brindie
bigger bukket
who you looking at?
I luv you, I've always luvved you
Of course I always dance like this
Ooh I never realised the ceiling looked like that
Edward Lear RIP & God Save the Queen
However, the management sent me a memo for me to organise 'something, anything for the Jumbilee'. I think there may have been a misprint as I know the Jumblies have the 'i' after the 'l'. But I found it a strange coincidence that there was an Edward Lear anniversary (he was born in 1812) the very same year that the Queen was still alive. So I hit upon THE JUMBLIES JUBILEE - a red, white and blue celebration of sieve based water transport.
So if you visit the Museum of Unreason this weekend all the staff and volunteers (the ones who haven't resigned) have had their heads painted green and their hands painted blue. On sale is no end of Stilton cheese, owls, useful carts, pounds of rice and cranberry tarts (sure to be big sellers - kindly supplied by Mrs. Aged-Volunteer).The live pig and monkey have been a bit of a handful, but putting neat brandy in their food seems to have calmed them down. However there is jackdaw poo everywhere (the cleaner is going to kill me once I've persuaded her to withdraw her resignation).
I made it my personal challenge to brew up 40 bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree. Unfortunately the internet and in particular Wikipedia has let me down - they don't have the recipe.
So my idea for fun for all the family is 'brew your own Ring-Bo-Ree'
In the interest of research I thought I'd better test the idea with a recipe of my own. Exploring my drinks cupboard I began to experiment.
1 shot of vodka
1 shot of schnapps
1 shot of brandy
1 shot of gin
1 shot of Etna Fire (much regretted drunken holiday purchase)
1 shot of whiskey
1 shot of whisky
1 ice cube, 1 umbrella, 1 straw, 1 bucket
another shot of brandy
more vodka
more brandy
a bit more vodka
morr wiskie
sum more brindie
bigger bukket
who you looking at?
I luv you, I've always luvved you
Of course I always dance like this
Ooh I never realised the ceiling looked like that
Edward Lear RIP & God Save the Queen
Saturday, 19 May 2012
Hairy Trotter and the Deathly Board of Shadows
"An effective board of trustees should be able to draw on a diverse range of skills, knowledge, qualities and experience to help it fulfil its roles." National Council for Voluntary Organisations
The Museum of Unreason is taking the tortuous and twisted journey towards becoming the Unreasonable Trust. Museum manager Frank Unreasoning has been using the Yorkshire Renaissance step by step guide to creating a trust as his guide into these uncharted waters. He is helped in this process by the cleaner SUE (Seriously Under Employed) and the Chair of the Friends Group BOB (Blindly Optimistic Busybody). Frank is now concerned with recruiting the SHADOW BOARD OF TERROR.
A couple of hours quiet contemplation in the central cubicle of the gents toilet in the Museum of Unreason allowed me to come up with a list of skills needed for the new board written on our official museum stationery.
Not a bad list, but other than myself who would embody all these attributes? Remembering my strategic planning skills I've come up with a vision of the ideal 'Unreasonable Board'.
It sounds like Bob has entered the cubicle beside me, I suppose I have to ask him to be the Chair.
Next week - detailed business planning
* as mentioned in my last blog I had a hot date with 'Olga' this weekend. Meeting her was a bit of a surprise as she didn't look much like her picture. She was closer to 50 than 18, grey haired rather than blonde and a man rather than a woman. Those things aside, it was still exciting as she was my first ever proper girlfriend. Also I never realised how expensive penicillin was in Russia, but I've set up a direct debit to ensure Olga's sick grandmother gets the best treatment she can. I also leant Olga the airfare to go back to Russia to tell her the good news. She's promised to write and said we'll get married as soon as she returns. Let me tell you it was the most exciting 5 minutes of my life.
The Museum of Unreason is taking the tortuous and twisted journey towards becoming the Unreasonable Trust. Museum manager Frank Unreasoning has been using the Yorkshire Renaissance step by step guide to creating a trust as his guide into these uncharted waters. He is helped in this process by the cleaner SUE (Seriously Under Employed) and the Chair of the Friends Group BOB (Blindly Optimistic Busybody). Frank is now concerned with recruiting the SHADOW BOARD OF TERROR.
A couple of hours quiet contemplation in the central cubicle of the gents toilet in the Museum of Unreason allowed me to come up with a list of skills needed for the new board written on our official museum stationery.
- Legal knowledge
- Financial knowledge
- Knowledge of the community
- Knowledge of the museum
- NOW WASH YOUR HANDS
- Negotiating skills
- Team working skills
- Fund raising skills
- Networking abilities
Not a bad list, but other than myself who would embody all these attributes? Remembering my strategic planning skills I've come up with a vision of the ideal 'Unreasonable Board'.
- Legal knowledge - If only Franz Kafka was still alive. He wrote 'The Trial' which neatly encapsulates a typical museum manager's paranoia - or is that just me? He'd bring a much needed light-heartedness to board meetings. Plus his definition of lawyers is so perceptive, "It's only because of their stupidity that they're able to be so sure of themselves." I must quote that to our solicitors (Pricey, Inept and Tardy Partners) sometime.
- Financial knowledge - Bernard Madoff, recently arrested for $50bn fraud on US Stock Market. He will have some time on his hands - although attending meetings might be a problem unless he gets a Community Service Order. I would trust him to see us through the choppy financial waters with innovative thinking such as moving the museum to the Bahamas.
- Knowledge of the community - I'm thinking L.Ron Hubbard the founder of Scientology (he's not dead because we are all immortal) would get the community into shape and probably not want to let the visitors leave at the end of the day thereby increasing secondary spend.
- Knowledge of the museum - that has to be the cleaner Sue, if I ask her to be on the board she might tell me where she's hidden all the toilet rolls.
- NOW WASH YOUR HANDS - Howard Hughes?
- Negotiating skills - Its got to be Jeremy Hunt, how he is still in his job must be down to this skill
- Team working skills - The problem is that we don't have multiple occupancy toilet cubicles for our meetings (I'd better put that in the business plan). I'm convinced that would help us get to know each other a lot better. George Michael springs to mind as a man with a good reputation for sharing in public toilets.
- Fund raising skills - my new Russian girlfriend seems to have some good ideas*
- Networking abilities - Rupert Murdoch could make a good team with the board's negotiator.
It sounds like Bob has entered the cubicle beside me, I suppose I have to ask him to be the Chair.
Next week - detailed business planning
* as mentioned in my last blog I had a hot date with 'Olga' this weekend. Meeting her was a bit of a surprise as she didn't look much like her picture. She was closer to 50 than 18, grey haired rather than blonde and a man rather than a woman. Those things aside, it was still exciting as she was my first ever proper girlfriend. Also I never realised how expensive penicillin was in Russia, but I've set up a direct debit to ensure Olga's sick grandmother gets the best treatment she can. I also leant Olga the airfare to go back to Russia to tell her the good news. She's promised to write and said we'll get married as soon as she returns. Let me tell you it was the most exciting 5 minutes of my life.
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